9/15/2015

It's 1 in the morning and I am still not used to the time change. I have officially been in NYC for 3 weeks. I feel like I'm getting the hang of some things. I'm not constantly looking at my phone for directions and killing my battery. I'm not second guessing myself on the subway.  I know the fastest places to stop for coffee on my way to work. And still I'm still in shock to call this place home. 

I feel like this is the perfect time to begin blogging again. This time will be a little different. I think the easiest way to share my new life in New York is to keep a journal. BTW I suck at keeping a journal. I never did as a kid (maybe for like a 3 days max) so not sure how this will go. Also, please don't judge my grammar/sentence structure. It's a journal people. I just honestly feel like I have so much to say, share and write out. This will not be about outfit post/fashion/lifestyle. This is for the sole purpose to just write about my experience here in New York. Also to share how much my life has changed. 

Speaking of change. I just got off the phone with one of my good friends from back home. After catching up on our jobs she said something that I forget to appreciate/take in. "Ellen think about how much your life has changed since we got back from Charleston". That was 2 months ago. Before Charleston I was in a relationship, teaching dance and living in Nashville. It's hard to sum up life in during July and August. I have experienced my lowest low and highest high all within that time frame. I have lost something I never thought I would and started something I never thought would ever happen. So much of me and my life has changed. Nothing prepares for you for things in life like this. No one has guidebooks about break ups and starting over.  No one prepares you for life after an almost 10 year relationship. 

I have done what I consider the only option. No not everyone can pack up and start over in NYC. But they can change everything that they possible want to. That's what I have done. Changed everything. I have been unhappy with my relationship and job for awhile now. No, no one wants to go through hell to get where they are but sometimes is take a major storm to ignite a major wake up call within yourself. The hardest thing to accept is the fact that everything in the past has led up to this moment. I have decided to not live in a state of regret. Yes I'm hurt, yes I still think about it everyday and yes it's going to take some time. 

I'm going to take some time in NYC to let it go and learn to move on. So take this post as an intro in to my entirely new life. 

- Ellen