9/18/2015

Today I walked to work in brand new shoes. I was dying by the time I made it half way to work. I knew better than to look down at the back of my heels until I made it to my desk. Yeah blood everywhere from the God forsaken shoes that I love. Great way to start the day.

I have been putting it off long enough. I had to buy a planner. I went to the paper source in Chelsea which is beside Chelsea Market. Score. Perfect night snacking through all the shops. Promptly went home and literally wrote all my upcoming travel dates for at least an hour. A little overwhelming but this is exactly what I wanted.

I have a date tomorrow night....Still so weird to say that. We are having drinks and then he has bought tickets to a comedy show. Fun right? ha. I'm still worried about how awkward I am now I have to worry about my quirky/weird/you either love it or hate it laugh . ahhh The dating thing is a lot.

Dating is different/exciting. When you think about it I haven't been on a real first date in 10 years. The guy I went out with last Friday was great. I was honestly preparing for the worst. All the articles about dating in New York talk about guys that suck, split the check and are only out for one thing. This guy was great. Like completely exceeding expectations from what everyone says. I can't tell the you last time I have been on a date where someone asked me genuine questions, didn't just talk about what they were doing and seemed interested in what I had to say. Learning about someone else is so much fun too.

Trust me I was a nervous wreck going out for the first time. I honestly can't believe I agreed to go out period. When you have been with the same person for 10 years you still feel like you are doing something wrong (at least I do). That's been the most difficult thing about the break-up. Completely separating my thoughts, feelings and opinions from what he might think. Becoming my own person has been the most difficult and most liberating part of my new life.

I am missing my dance squad so much. I've been lucky to stay in touch with some of them. I can't help but think about how they are doing now that the studio is completely different. Those girls will never understand how happy they made me. I could be so unhappy, come to work, be in class with them and forget everything for the moment. I just want them to be happy and love dance. I want them to know that dance is not about winning. It's about the experience and becoming a better version yourself everyday. I hope they understand the impact they had on my life. " I thank my God every time I remember you" Philippians 1:3.